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I am considering bottle feeding my baby. How do i respond to the breast feeding fanatics?

I have concerns that i feel i have to explain my decision, particularly to my husbands family who will probably not agree with my decision. I feel judged by them and i havent even had the baby yet. I have considered breast feeding but know now that its not really for me. I will try it but my sister has 3 healthy children and all were bottle fed, as was i as a child. Thanks for the overwhelming support.

Public Response to I am considering bottle feeding my baby. How do i respond to the breast feeding fanatics?

  1. You simply tell them to mind their own business, that this is YOUR child and YOU will choose how to feed and rais her. You also might want to put in an order when you are admitted to the hospital to have your baby that NO visits from the La Leche' league are allowed. They will HOUND you to death if you allow them to visit.
  2. Tell them you are taking a medication that you shouldn't breastfeed with - and if they ask what the medicine is just say "well that's a little personal"
  3. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your decision on how to raise your child. As long as you know in your heart that you love your child and you are doing the best you can do for your child... then be happy with the decisions you make. My youngest is 20 and he is not perfect but he is his own man. I know that no matter what... he knows I did the best with what I had. You don't have to explain how you love. Question... would you explain your decision not to be on top during sex if you were asked? Not their business, right?
  4. You tell them that it's what you felt was best for your family. It's okay for them to have an opinion, but make sure they understand that the more they down you for YOUR choices, the less you will want to be around them, which equals out to the less they will be able to see the baby. GOod luck to you.
  5. Ok, I tried the breastfeeding thing because of pressure. I couldn't handle it. I made it 3 weeks. If you dont want to do it, put your foot down. People will always judge you. Breastfeeding has alot of benefits, but if its not for you then you dont have to do it. As far as everyone else, you can politely say "thanks for your opinion, but this is my baby and I will do with it what i want"
  6. ya i agree witht the others. it's your baby, your decision, not theirs. i bottle fed my baby, and he is a perfectly healthy 18mth old now.
  7. just say I have made up my mind I am bottle feeding my baby. Formula is healthy and I am comfortable with my decision.
  8. It is your choice... I would say I am considered a breast feeding fanatic, but only ask the mom to try to nurse for at least the 1st week...let baby get the colustrum. But is your choice, do not let anyone back you into a wall. My husbands family was anti breast feeding, I did not care I did what was right for me & my baby not what was right for them, if you choice to give formula you are choosing what is best for you & baby...period. Everyone is diffrent, do not allow their imput, if they start to give it tell them you and baby are just fine and end it.
  9. Breast feeding as we all know is healthier for your baby, However... It is a personal decision, only you can make. It also doesn't always work out, and a lot of women feel guilty and get depressed about it. My 1st born (son) took to it like second nature, no problems! My 2nd born ( daughter) chewed me raw to the point that it became impossible to continue on, so she got the bottle (I pumped for her bottle though, not wanting her to miss out on all that Breast milk has to offer) Both children have turned out equally health wise. I wouldn't want others making such a personal decision for me though, you make it.
  10. I can share with you what I would say... "Thank you for sharing your concerns with me. I appreciate your advice and will do the best for our baby and I will come to you if I have any questions" I'd try to give them an answer I would want if I errored and was pushing my judgement onto someone, It gives them respect and still keeps you in charge of your own decisions.
  11. Well, its not their nipples being suckled..and they don't have to deal with the pain, so they really have no right to judge you. even though there are benifits from breast feeding, its just not something every woman wants to do. and just a tip, use liquid formula. my sister actually gave me that tip when my nephew contracted meningitis from powdered formula, and the daughter of the woman who gave her the powdered formula also contracted meningitis.
  12. It is your decision, I am a mother of six children and never had a bottle in my house or pacifier. Just did not believe in them. SOME THINGS TO LOOK AT, RETURNING TO YOUR PREGNANT SIZE FAST, NOT WARMING BOTTLES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE BABY IS CRYING. There are many benefits to breast feeding. Read books on both and inform your self. It is a great time for you and your knew baby to bond.
  13. i also tried breastfeeding however was so stressed out i wasn't providing enough nutrients to my baby and swapped to the bottle at 6 weeks. It was the best decision i ever made and he took to the bottle without any problems. if anyone did say anything i told them that it was my decision and what was best for my baby at the time. had i have gone on breastfeeding he would have starved. my second baby was breastfed for 11 months and didn't want to even try to take to the bottle so i was stuck with that. plz don't feel you owe anyone an explanantion, its your baby and only you will know what feels right for you and your baby.
  14. do as u wish
  15. It is every woman's right to choose what is most comfortable for them. If you force yourself to breastfeed and you are not comfortable it could interfere with bonding. It is no ones business how you choose to feed your child. If they say something tell them politely but firmly that you and your doctor decided that this was the best option for you. My mother never breast fed neither did my sister. When I was pregnant I couldn't imagine breast feeding. Everyone on my husband's side breast fed their kids. His one sister was pretty opinionated about the matter. After reading the literature regarding building the immune system and other benefits to both mother and child I decided to try breast feeding for a couple of weeks. Surprisingly I was not uncomfortable. In fact I enjoyed it. I breast fed my son for 9 months until he started biting. I did supplement with formula and I also pumped so others could help with feedings. I am not trying to tell you what to do but I do encourage you to discuss your feelings with your doctor and close friends. Also contact your hospital. They should have nurses that can provide you with all the information you need to make an informed decision. Good luck and don't stress too much about it.
  16. If someone asks just tell them it is your choice and none of thier business.. You have no need to explain yourself or justify your choice to others... If they continue to bring it up walk away and keep walking they will get the hint or you will be far enough away you no longer have to hear them...
  17. dont let anyone intimidate you..my ex husbands family looked down on me when i didnt want to breast feed...i bottle fed my daughter and she is very healthy..we also had an extreme bonding, even though people always say that you dont bond when you dont breast feed..i get sick of people judging others when they dont like what is done..also, your husband can share in the feeding for you..that way they get a bonding too..and just remember, its your body, do what makes you feel comfortable..dont try to please others..itll make you unhappy..congradulations on your baby..
  18. OK so I only breastfed for about 7 mos BUT I also supplemented all during that time. Everyone told me that I was selfish for not exclusively breastfeeding. I have been through it before! It is truly up to you and your preference. If you don't want to then don't and if your husbands family has a problem with it then you AND your husband need to let them know that this is your child and you will do whats right for your family. Good Luck
  19. I breastfed my son for 3 days after he was born, and I wasn't producing enough so I had no choice but to go to formula. For that little bit, I felt aweful that maybe i was being a bad mom, even though I really couldn't feed him myself. My husband had to calm me down. As this i thought was suppose to be natural and suppose to be the way to feel him. But I soo got over it, as i saw him loving his new baba filled with formula. Not every women wants to try it. I honestly didn't until my son was looking for his 1st meal. It is a very pressured topic, esp. from the women in your family who have breastfed all 12 of their children. Just say well this is something as a mother to my baby that I am not sure I want to do. It is up to me on this. (As your baby will still get his nutrients from formula), and just say I am not sure how comfortable i will be breastfeeding (as it is really none of their business), and say i would never want to feel uncomfortable with my son. And end it at that. Really you don't need to say anything except this is a personal decision... keep all judging to yourself.
  20. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/ Good place to talk about baby stuff
  21. OK, I don't want to come across as a breast feeding fanatic but.... I just had my first baby and the breastfeeding part has been such a wonderful experience. I totally respect a woman's choice to breast or bottle feed but don't give up your right to choose before you've tried it. You might find it is a rewarding experience and if not, then try the bottle. If you are planning on pumping breast milk then there is no difference from a nutritional/immunity point of view. You may be surprised that your family may be supportive of your decision. Maybe you can let you husband deal with his family on this issue. You will be hormonal and exhausted for the first while and you really don't need the stress. If it comes from him, maybe they won't even say anything. AND, if they are parents, they know that it isn't always easy and may prove to be OK with your decision. Anyways, personally, I love the convenience of breastfeeding and I have lots most of my preggo weight (nice bonus:-) GOOD LUCK and don't worry so much now! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.
  22. I dont care who it is...your husbands family, your own family, you do not have to discuss such personal topics with them, nor do you need thier approval! Try not to feel like its thier right to know and give thier opinion, its not. If you are uncomfortable talking about this, either avoid the topic, or simply tell them it's none of thier bussiness. You can be nice about it too, I know I would feel terrible telling my fiance's family "It's none of your bussiness!" I would say somthing more like "Im really not okay talking about this, can we please change the subject?" If they insist, well then you might have to be a bit more assertive, Lol. You could even have your husband intervene as he would be more comfortable being assertive with his own family. Good luck and congrats on the baby!! : )
  23. You don't have to tell "them" anything.... I am sure "they" will figure it out.... Daisy
  24. oh...dont sweat it. once you have your baby and get into the swing of things your concern will be for your baby and not what your inlaws might think. bottle feeding is fine if its your perogative then you do as you see fit. if they say something then so be it, just smile and nod and eventually they will get the point.
  25. You should respond with whatever reasons you have for not breast feeding. That's very individual. I would not ask others to come up with responses for you - that will not be honest, and thus might not be accepted by those "breast feeding fanatics". You don't know whether breast feeding is not for you until you give it a proper try. Prior to explaining your decision to your husband's family, why don't you gain understanding what their reasoning are to support breast feeding. I'm sure they will say more than this is just the recommendation of American Association of Pediatrics. You can also check the book "What to Expect the First Year" or kellymom.com site to learn about breast feeding benefits. Just one example for you: I was shocked to learn that nova-days AAP recommends that smoking mothers still breast feed because the researches have shown that benefits of breastfeeding overweight the hard due to smoking. Good luck with your baby!
  26. You need to do what is best for you. If you are not comfortable with bf than the baby will sense that and will probably be more fussy. I only bf my babies for a short time and felt judged by family also, but your baby will be fine either way. Dont do it if your heart isnt in it because it is so hard with the 1st even when you really want to do it. Follow your heart, and the baby will be just fine!!! Good luck!!
  27. First of all, no one can tell you how to raise your child. That's the great thing about being a parent. 2nd..wait until the baby comes before you decide. The baby will let you know what he or she will prefer.
  28. You poor thing. People can sure suck. I would say that they are my breasts, not a topic of conversation and to mind their own bleeping business and I will raise my baby how I choose, go have your own. But then again, I tend to be a hot head sometimes. God bless you and just do what is right for you.
  29. http://breastfeed.com/resources/articles/virgingut.htm http://www.drjen4kids.com/soap%20box/what%27s%20missing%20in%20formula.htm http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/what_should_know_formula.html http://www.todaysparent.com/baby/breastfeeding/article.jsp?content=20030807_101250_216 http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/infant-formula.html
  30. Just blow it off, youll get alot of people in your face telling you how they think everything should be done, just thank them for thier opinion and leave it at that, you shouldnt feel guilty and dont owe anyone an explanation. You do what you feel is best for you and your family. Congrats on the baby.
  31. Ignore them. You only have to do what you think is best for you and your child and everyone else can "go and get stuffed". My wife and I have 2 kids, both were breast fed but a lot of our friends bottle fed from birth. The kids are now grown up a little (all from 3 to 6) and none of them either boob fed or bottle fed look any defferent from eachother. They are all a pain in the rear end but adourable at the same time. Don't feel judged, make your own decission, it will be the right one for you. Good luck!
  32. Since they are family and I imagine just want the best for your little one, maybe you could explain followed by a "I hope you will respect my decision", so they will at least understand your point of view. No matter what you do, they're still going to think breast-feeding is best, but they may feel better about you attempting to make them understand how you feel, rather than feeling left out! I had the opposite experience with my 3 children who I breastfed, as my in-laws in Puerto Rico thought I was strange for breast-feeding, so my husband would explain to them how it's more healthy, etc... but I think what convinced them was most, was how convenient and economical it was! If you do try though, the certified lactation consultant in the hospital (NOT le leche league) usually can be very helpful, and are supposed to be non-judgemental if you decide it's not working out! I want to warn you though, it doesn't always come easily, but after you get passed the hard part, it's effortless. Good luck either way, and congratulations!
  33. Tell them it is your and your baby's doctor's decision. I had 3 children and not one of them would breastfeed. It bummed me out for a while but there are many good formulas on the market. Remember in times past if a woman couldn't breastfeed herself she had a wet-nurse. Some woman, like my daughter, had breast so sore it was way to painful to keep it up. Just because you don't breastfeed DOESN'T mean your not a loving and good Mother. And if they want to argue the point; leave. It's you and your husbands child. RAISE YOUR BABY YOUR WAY. I had many a debate,so to speak, with my in-laws to. And still do to this day. I stand up for my decisions.
  34. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone it is your child and your choice. I tried breast feeding and it didn't work for me but I never felt pressured by all the fanatics, you respond by telling them to kiss off. You do what is best for you and your baby and if someone can't respect that then too bad. Your baby will be healthy as long as you give him/her the care and love they need.